Amazing, then Some

Sitting at work laughing, for no other reason than it was Friday, I heard my phone ring. Mr. "great in bed" had called to see if I could swing another full blown "Jew Boy weekend." I said, "I think I can handle it." I wanted to handle it. His dick I mean! Since we had spent last weekend out and out of town, he want to stay in, cook me dinner, drink and watch a movie. Swear to God, this was entirely his idea. I freaked. My stomach turned over because he had to good to be true. I have NEVER in my life had a guy offer to cook for me. In my mind, it was a self-assured gesture. I wrote about him in my journal.

"He is awesome and I never want him to end."

As I walked up to Jew Boy's house, he met me (and my dog) at the door as he consistently does. He admitted as usual, "You look nice tonight." We watched some basketball, while he prepared dinner. Due to my less than par cooking skills, I did nothing. When the meal was on the table, he turned off all TVs, dimmed the lights, added soft music and lit candles. Ah, the pressure! I was a bit fidgety for some reason. Ok, for real, I was nervous because I liked him so much. I loved him putting me in the center, where I belonged.

After dinner, we ate the chocolate strawberries that I brought, drank, danced and made out. Instead of the movie, we listened to music and talked. Music was invariably a topic for conversation between us, due to our highly different tastes. Or should I say, his bad taste. We were outside smoking, freezing our asses off, when Jew Boy suggested we take a swim in the tub to warm up. I am still unsure if this was a planned ploy or if he was just romantic. I think he is really that romantic.

When I came in from outside, the music was on again, all lights were out and candles were glowing in the bath water reflection. He was waiting for me. I laid in the water with him and took control, kissing him hard. It felt remarkable. The water, the kissing, him. He felt good and tasted even better. When both of us had lost control, we made it to the bed for two rounds of breath-taking sex. We finished with me on top. Fuck, I couldn't let all of his efforts go unnoticed! He looked me in the eye and quietly said, "Do you know how sexy you are?" Yes, I did. I did when I was around him.

Before we fell asleep I told him he was amazing. He replied, "No you are."

No....God No

The unwanted but much needed "talk" had to happen soon. Very soon. Before we exchanged fluids again! I literally needed to know for the sake of sanity that I was the only "girl" he was sleeping with. It was about MY safety, since we stupidly never used a condom. I also wanted to know for myself and my crushed ego.

After the magic number of two hours on the phone, I knew I had to deliver the words or they would be lodged in my throat eternally. "I have something that I need to talk to you about, something that has been bothering me," I used my voice sparingly. He laughed at me. Laughed. Quickly I responded, "Why the hell are you laughing, I said it was serious." He said it was nervous laughter. Good, for a moment you might endure what I have been carrying.

I asked if he was sleeping with anyone other than me. He said, "No, God No." Sigh, loud relief. I said, "Have you slept with anyone while we have been connected sexually." Also a no. I moved into the not using a condom issue. He assured me that there was no reason to have do, as he didn't have "anything." I transitioned into addressing the same questions for him that I had asked.

He said that he never wanted me to feel uncomfortable talking or asking him anything. Saying, "I feel terrible that you were feeling bothered." He apologized for not defining why he stopped wearing a condom. He said, "I am sorry for making you think I was not sexually responsible, due to the decisions that I made with you. I am also sorry for making you start that every uncomfortable conversation. That was my responsibility and I didn't do it." I apologized for making it weird if I did. "No, no, you have every right to know and ask those questions," he was reassuring.

This difficult conversation was tough to even bring up. We both agreed on that. I am impressed with the way that he listened and responded. He handled all of it more advantageously than I thought he could. It was not strange and I felt the honesty within him.

So Many Questions

After the Austin trip, Jew Boy was the continuous playing feature film in my head. I replayed not only the sex that we had, but the awesome things he said to me. It made me super horny just to think of his name. I was missing him and wanting more. Not just more sex, but more of him. In fact, my journal entry from that day reads like this.

"This is sick. I really like him, but I am scared. I can't be in a situation where I will get hurt again. I can't handle it. I am unsure of his feelings for me, as he has never outright said them. Do his actions speak more loudly than his words? Does he treat every girl he meets this well or is this just him? Are there others girls besides me?"

He was mute when it came to actually discussing his feelings. He never put himself out there, outside of a sexual realm. To be fair, I never uttered a word about my feelings either. It was my fault for not asking and more importantly not being ready to hear the answer. It was almost that I wanted him to want me because I needed validation.

I was not ready for him as a boyfriend, but I DID have to know that he is only sleeping with me. It was the only way I could make it exclusive.

Overnight Trip

I was spending a quiet weekend at home, when the phone rang. Jew Boy was calling from his "guys weekend" out in Kansas. Shocked to hear his voice, I said, "What are you doing?" He said, "We are on our way out for the night, but I wanted to call and invite you next weekend to the game with me and my friends." The game meant a road trip to Austin for the Kansas/Texas game. I was unsure how this all went down, but I am always in for a road trip. Especially one that includes football, beer and sex!

When thinking about a three hour drive to the game in Austin, I had reservations. Much to my amazement, we had many topics to cover, actually talking the entire trip. While in route, I asked if he friends knew anything about me. He said, "Of course, I told them you are great looking, smart, where you graduated from, what you do for a living, that you love to have fun and that you can drink! Well fuck, that pretty much wraps it up!

We arrived at the hotel and went straight for the beer. It was still considered morning, but that is college football at it's finest. Jew Boy was acute in his attention to me and made sure I knew everyone. His friends were semi-cool, but much more reserved than me or mine. Still, I had a great time at the tailgate. Actually, I had a great time the entire day, despite the Kansas loss. I feel compelled to mention that Kansas is not my team, but with some force, I did wear one of those stupid fucking Jayhawks on my shirt. Lord, please forgive me.

After the game, we made it back to the hotel for some food. Jew Boy's friends were all there, lined up and ready to ask me questions. I felt like I was in some kind of sick reality "me" show. Surprisingly, there was not much that they didn't know. They were armed with details, down to my dog's name! Seems that Jew Boy had been talking, a lot!

Once our "snacks" were finished Jew Boy and I went to our room for a nap. On the way up, he said, "We are going to get into bed, but not necessarily sleep." He kept good on this promise! We had sex twice. Can I mention again, that he is good, really good. He either has some serious experience or was given a great gift.

I had to force myself out of bed with him to get ready for dinner and drinking round two. Once I was completely ready, he told that I looked beautiful and kissed me on the forehead. I was dragging a little at first because it my second time to get drunk in one day, until one of Jew Boy's friends caught my attention. I overheard him saying how great I was. Among other compliments he said, "Jew Boy, you did a good job with this one." He replied fast, "I know." I think my face turned red.

Once we started to get drunk again, we started getting close. I kept kissing him. A little trashy I know, but fuck I couldn't help myself. He actually told me to back off. I said, "Excuse me?" He pointed downward. I looked and his dick was hard from just kissing me. He said "it" does that when he is around me and there was nothing I could do about it. I assumed it was a good thing!

There is not really any hiding what happened when we got to the hotel room. He actually shared that sex with me is always good for him. Much to my dismay, I told him how good he was as well. He tended to blow me off, so I said, "no you are really good and you know it." He told me thanks and said he liked to hear me say that. I fell asleep with his arms around me.

Dinner In

I loved talking to Jew Boy and always looked forward to his calls. He had a super sarcastic wit in which I fed on. Our chats would last for hours, which is rare for a guy. He had a great memory, never forgetting anything I told him and always referencing my words in later conversations. Also, highly unusual. He told me that he loved talking to me because I would fire back at him. Our words were always highly flirtatious, sarcastic and sexual.

As one of our highly charged conversations was wrapping up, he offered to come over the next night and bring me dinner. What the fuck? This guy is straight out of a romance novel. I had never been in a relationship in my entire life where a guy had put so much thought (and effort) out there. It was new and it was fabulous.

He arrived the next night dressed down, but looking hot! Just as he said, he brought our entire meal with him! He gave me a huge hug and a kiss, saying, "It is great to see you, sexy." I was so overwhelmed that I had butterflies!

He gave them to me all night, in many different ways! Perfection.

Online Now

I heard Jew Boy mention, in passing, that we were dating. Really, what the fuck does that mean exactly? I don't recall being consulted on this topic. Sure, I had gone out with him many times and had sex with him many more, but his words caught me totally off guard. When I realized that he had just categorized me, I started wondering how many other women were in his "dating" category?

Apparently there were many judging from the fact that was always "online now." The dating site where we met, allowed filtering based on who was online at that particular time. To me, online now meant that he was currently logged in and trolling for women. Excuse me motherfucker, what exactly are you trolling for?

Still Smiling

I had no expectations when I met Jew Boy. I had no recent past dating experience, so I was blind to so many things. I was scared to like him; scared of letting myself open up for fear of hurt. Hell, I was still hurting over a past relationship. I am sad to say that when I was dating Jew Boy, I was not 100 percent there with him, ever.

Despite the fact that part of me was closed for business, I spend the next few weeks trying to really know Jew Boy. He called one Friday afternoon (we didn't have plans) to ask if I wanted to come to Ft. Worth to meet his friends. Is it already time for that? He told me they had been asking where he had been the last few weeks. They wanted to meet the person that was "occupying" all of his recent time. With an invite like that, who could refuse?

His friends were great, but he was even better. While we were at the bar, one of his friends made a typical asshole guy comment, saying, "Hey Jew Boy, look at the super hot girl at the bar." Jew boy had his back to the bar and never turned to look at her, instead saying to his friend, "That girl is hot" and pointed to me! Did I mention I love him? I laughed out loud and smiled on the inside.

"In Like"

My mind was constantly on Jew Boy and the crazy night out we shared. I felt that I needed to tell him what a good time I had with him. I pussied out on calling and sent a text.

"I don't know if I told you this, but I had a great time on Saturday. It was rockin!"

My phone rang less than five minutes later. Jew Boy and I talked for over two hours. He was good, very smart and witty. The conversation between us, turned sexual, but that was how the relationship was. It was good that way. I wanted more of it. Could I dare say this, I think I am "in like" with Jew Boy.

Full Attention

I looked forward to meeting Jew Boy all day long. It was nervous excitement. I had just gotten my "rock star's girlfriend" haircut, so I looked hot and knew it. The weather was flawless and the beer was flowing. We were there with a large group of people, but no one could have guessed. Jew Boy was totally absorbed in me. I was feeling him as well, wanting him to feel me from the inside out. He told me repeatedly how great I looked and how excited he was to be there with me!

I craved his words and all of the attention. When I was in that moment, all of the pain the Big X had put on me dissolved. We flirted as hard as two people can. As I laughed, Jew Boy leaned into to me and whispered, "You are so sexy." I wanted him on the table right then. He continued, "It is taking all I have right now not to grab you and make out right here in front of everyone." (I am sure this had a bit to do with the fact that he knew I wasn't wearing underwear!)

During his sexual commentary, he made a remark about being able to multi-task. I had to take him down a notch and let him know that he was terrible at it. Not terrible in any sexual mode (as he meant it), but terrible at trying to talk to me while he did other things. He knew exactly what I was referring to! He said, "Oh, you are one of those, who wants my full attention." Well, fuck yes and I deserve it. I knew when I went as far as to tell him that, I liked him.

After all of the dirty talking and the one brief serious conversation, we were ready to escape to my house. As we were walking to the car, he grabbed me by the shoulders, stopped me from moving another inch and kissed me hard. It was the best kiss of my life! I didn't want it to end. It could have lasted forever and it wouldn't have been long enough for me. We were inside of each other and it felt real.

When back at my house, he asked for me to turn the lights down and light the candles. What?? Are there really guys out there that make these types of requests? I had no idea of their existence, but I loved my newly found treasure. Jew Boy took me outside and we danced under the stars. He couldn't keep his hands off of me. I was, for these moments, in heaven.

The kissing was passionate. We were as close as two people could get, but he wanted more. I felt his dick digging into my leg, as he hands went in my shirt. He lead me to my own bed, then went down on me. Holy fuck, is there anything at which he is not perfection? After sex, we laid very close, as he gave me a full body massage. I asked for his full attention and he gave me more than that.

When he left the next day, he said that we would talk soon and when we did, he would be sure to give me his full attention!

Very Weak

A week goes by with no thoughts of Jew Boy whirling in my head. I opened my email and as promptly as it said, "you have mail," bam he was back! The message presented a hundred million excuses as to why he has not called, but how he had been thinking of me. Actually, what he meant to say was, he had been away from home for weeks and his dick was hard! I read the entire email through several times, contemplating whether I should take him up on his offer to go out again.

To tell the truth, I didn't think we would see each other again. He had not crossed my mind, even with the memories of that amazing sexual encounter. Initially, I compared him too much to The Big X. Jew Boy, could not hold his own in my thoughts. He was a self-absorbed rich kid. He did not deserve me, so I semi-declined his request for a third date, but leaving the door cracked just a little.

I was at home alone and lonesome, on a Friday night, no less. I had an unstable moment and sent Jew Boy a text. I asked if he had landed and was ready for tomorrow night. He called. I don't know if I was lonely, but I enjoyed the chat with him tremendously. He didn't hold back the fact that he was glad to I had contacted him. At the termination of the call, he said he was looking forward to seeing me. I muttered, "Me too." I hung up the phone and said outloud, "Am I really?"

Linear Thinkers

While Jew Boy was away, we continued to communicate by text message, with a few calls thrown in. The text messages were super witty, highly sarcastic and sometimes overtly sexual. But, every time we talked, he seemed preoccupied with the events and people around him. Fuck his socialization, I get full attention, always. I do understand that most men are linear thinkers (apparently Jew Boy included), so after much over-analyzing, I blew off his apparent ability to multi-task.

When he returned home, our calls also returned to normal. They were long, filled with much laughter and flirting that boarded on orgasm! He made it clear that he wanted to see me, so I agreed that we should go to dinner.

The day of dinner, Jew Boy called at five to make plans. During our call, his rudeness and self-absorbed center once again surfaced. He started by checking his email, then preceded to read them to me over the phone. Ahhhh, No! I tried to pull our conversation out of the ditch, but by then he had pissed me off so bad, I falsified a work deadline. Basically, I told him that he could drive over (an hour drive) to take me to dinner, then go back home. He shocked me by saying that he didn't want to come if we didn't have time to "hang out." Really? We are all of age here, go ahead and say, "I don't want to take you to dinner if I can't have sex with you."

I was fucking irritated, but knew I had made the right decision once I had his response. Jew Boy is self-absorbed and frankly, an asshole. I was testing him to see what THIS was for him. I got the my answer, SEX. This unfortunately was not the answer I was looking for.

Or Not.

I continued to communication with the Big X since he traipsed out of my life. At times, it has been unpalatable. Other times, it has been a way of healing. All of the people close to me wanted me to swear him off, forever. One significant problem with that. He was my best friend for six years. Talking to him, made me feel as if that relationship was still intact. Maybe it was, but it had changed drastically.

There was never any talk about what went wrong with us. I didn't feel that I had an decent explanation of the events that rocked my core. As hard I as I tried, he was not coughing up any meaningful words. So, conversations took place weekly, but there was a depth that was lacking. I looked forward to his calls, but was completely unfulfilled when they were over.

Moving Forward?

I have always been amiss when it comes to timing. After two illustrious dates, the most amazing sex of my life and intrigue to boot, Jew Boy was jet setting for the next three weeks. He pretended as if he was leaving the country and would be reachable only by telegram. Newsflash, as he left, I said, "I am sure your phone works in California." If we did not get together again, I was willing to take the blame. I had, of course, had sex with this guy on our second date. Regrets? Hell no.

Over the next few days, I did continue to think about Jew Boy. He was like jet fuel. It was impossible to understand why this was happening now. It was too early. I was in no way over The Big X. I recognized that my heart would not allow another relationship. Still, I continued on the reckless path, hoping that this could be different.

Horing Around

I turned the lights down and the music up. Jew Boy and I decided on another beer. Two sips into it, we had forgotten about alcohol and moved onto more forward actions!

Jew Boy was slow and gentle with me. His hands were more like silk than any I had ever felt. The kissing was hot. More than hot, it was highly refined. I felt his hands shake as he unhooked my bra. He was running across me, fast and then slow. I laid back and let him do what he wanted. His hands found my zipper and he moved further down. The reaction I got from that was one of unexpected delight. I have never heard a guy react the way he did when he touched me. It was pure bliss. He repeatedly told me how sexy I was. There is nothing that turns me on more than that.

After an hour of sin on the sofa, I took him by the hand and lead him to my bedroom. He undressed the rest of me. I reciprocated. The foreplay commenced, but totally nude this time. We had sex, amazing sex, lights out sex. He knew exactly what I wanted without me saying a word. It wasn't just the sex. It was him. It was us together. It just worked.

I was 28 years old at the time and had been waiting for this for exactly that many years. I have never had anything this perfect, EVER.

Saying the Right Thing

I Jew Boy again at a small, dark bar that I had never been to. I again, was jittery. Hands wet. Adrenaline flowing. He told me repeatedly how great I looked. He did as well, but I left that unsaid. We talked college sports and did lots of flirting. He seemed totally into me and into the night.

He invited his friends to join us, but told me just before they arrived. I was fine with meeting his friends, this meant that they knew I existed! They were just two at first, then it turned into an over sized group, all of whom knew each other. This put a bit of pressure on an already awkward situation. Not to mention, Jew Boy said a couple a really self absorbed comments.

I drank my beer quietly until our conversation came around. Toward the end of the night, he invited me over to his friend's house to do a bit more drinking. I agreed because I wanted to make out with him! They only had a few beers. He drank scotch, so I could have the beer. At the time, I thought this was a really sweet gesture. Maybe, he is smarter than I gave him credit for. He just wanted me drunk! Whatever, it worked.

I went out on the balcony to smoke and to contemplate what I was doing. Ok really it was just to smoke. Jew Boy only left me out there for a few minutes before joining me. Sadly, his friend did as well. The friend started quizzing us on where we met, blah blah. He turned to Jew Boy and said, I like this girl a lot, she fits in with us. This was an early, profoundly interesting statement.

Jew Boy's friend finally retired. I wanted to talk because I felt there was a lack of conversation all night. He did not have talking in mind. He kissed me over and over again. I had to keep pulling away because I thought that I might strip off his clothes right under the stars. The kissing was hard and passionate. It turned into a full blown make out session (or R rated porn) right there on the balcony. I made him stop and muttered that I needed to find my way home. I asked if he would walk me to my car. He did the right thing and said of course. I had no intention of going home without him. I just needed to see what he would say.

The call back

Yes, he did call. Jew Boy didn't do the three day rule either, he called the next day!! Is it possible that there is a guy out there that doesn't play lame love games?

He said that he had a great time with me, explaining that I was "a breath of fresh air." I am not sure exactly what that meant, but made me high! He said that he wanted to go out again, possibly the next weekend. I will, if not for anything else, just to kiss him again!

There Were Fireworks

After I relativity long drive to take Shelly's semi-date home and a stop at the QT for a late night snack, we made it to Jew Boy's house at 3:00AM. I think he was sleeping when I called, but he pretended otherwise. His house was shockingly nice. He is an owner (like myself) and lives there alone. Huge points!

Shelly and I commenced round two of drinking and smoking. Jew Boy didn't drink. Was this some kind of lame clue? I was too out of my body to pick up on any kind of subtlety. I kept talking, drinking and talking. I have no memory of what I was saying, but, as usual, I am sure it was insightful information.

When Shelly got up to go to the bathroom, Jew Boy came and sit very close by me on the sofa. I was rambling about God only knows, when he interrupted me with a very long and soft kiss. I kissed him back, like I wanted to be kissed. And Damn, this boy is amazing. I am sure this would have lead to a full-on make out session, but Shelly returned way too soon. By this time, it was 4:30 and beyond time to retire.

He asked both of us to stay, using the excuse that we were too drunk to drive. Well actually we were, BUT nice try hard dick! He walked us out and kissed me again. It was awesome. I pulled away, only because I had to. I told him to call me, we would go out again. He pulled me in again, kissed me harder this time, but still with the same passion. I had to walk away. As I did, I turned and looked at him. He was smiling at me.

I have had good kissers in my life, but the kiss with Jew Boy puts him in, at least, the top three. Could be higher? All I knew is that I wanted to see this guy again.

Yes, he is HOT

I didn't sleep on Thursday night and had an impossible time working on Friday. I was nervous. Not nervous, as in scared for my safety, but nervous that about meeting someone new. It had been so long for me.

After work, I rushed to Shelly's house. We went to a pre-drink venue because I feared that I would be unable to look Jew Boy in the eye without a few drinks in me. As we drank, I became obsessively insane. At one point, Shelly looked at me and said that she was going to go sit at another table because she was unsure who I was at that moment. I was talking nonstop and making no sense with any words. It was a pure out of body experience.

With a few in the bloodstream, I called Jew Boy to let him know that I was in town and awaiting our meeting. He was at home having a drink himself, so he seemed relatively calm. In my current chaotic state, his composure made me even more nervous. I got the impression that he had done this before! I chugged beer and smoked an insane number of cigarettes before he arrived.

We were sitting outside on the deck and I unfortunately had my back to him as he approached. I had to get the download from Shelly on what he looked like. Her words were, "Yeah I think that is him. He is hot. Oh yes, that is for sure him because he is coming this way. He looks just like his pictures and yes, he is hot." Holy shit, I thought I was going to die.

As he stood next to me and said hello, I hugged him and said that it was nice to finally meet him. It was a bit of an awkward moment, because I did know him by pictures, email and phone, just had never seen him in the "real". And YES, he was very good looking. He looked a bit different to me than in his photographs because I had looked at them 100 times before this meeting. This allowed my mind to fill in where the photos left out, which created a bit of a different image than what I was seeing in person. His features were much more defined than I thought. At first glance, I was attracted to him.

We decided to stay and have a drink before going to the concert. Red flag number one came when he ordered a scotch on the rocks with a twist of lemon. Serious as shit! Who orders this drink except old men golfers, with plaid pants, while sitting in their uppity country clubs? Shelly noticed his weird drink request and shot me a "this is never going to work" look.

Shelly knew how nervous I was, so she lead into the conversations (love her for this). It was small talk but overall, the initial meeting went well. I did notice that he talked much less in person than he did on the phone. Maybe it was because he was a little nervous himself, when he saw my insane good looks! Whatever the reason, this was a good thing.

We made our way to the concert. Jew Boy paid my way in and for all of my drinks. Being new to the dating scene, this was a perk that I had forgotten about. We talked, I sang. We laughed and did a bit of touching. Nothing big, but I could tell he was into me. He did tell me that I was much better looking than in my pictures, so he was a bit overwhelmed when he saw me.

By the end of the night we were both getting drunk, so we ended up on the dance floor singing and dancing. He was not all over me, which I am sure took some restraint, but he did like to touch. I have always liked a little PDA! I was still a bit overwhelmed by the entire night and how well it had gone. I certainly did not expect for him to be grinding with me, wanting me to be his next wet dream. It felt very good after everything I had been through.

At closing, he told me he had a great time, but did not want it to end just yet. He invited me over to his house. I think he meant me, and just me, riding with him. No Shelly. My drunkin' state wanted to say sure, but I quickly snapped back to reality. I told him that after we took Shelly's semi-date home "we" would stop by for another drink.

Meeting Up

I guess I had left an impact on Jew Boy because he made a second call three days later. We had another two hour conversation. I had to take that as a sign. This time, he did most of the talking. It is always better the listen than to talk, right?

He pressed me on when we were going to meet. Funny he should ask! I told him that I was coming to his area on Friday night. My friend Shelly and I had plans to go to a concert, but I wanted him to join us.

Holy Shit.

What in the FUCK have I gotten myself into?