No....God No

The unwanted but much needed "talk" had to happen soon. Very soon. Before we exchanged fluids again! I literally needed to know for the sake of sanity that I was the only "girl" he was sleeping with. It was about MY safety, since we stupidly never used a condom. I also wanted to know for myself and my crushed ego.

After the magic number of two hours on the phone, I knew I had to deliver the words or they would be lodged in my throat eternally. "I have something that I need to talk to you about, something that has been bothering me," I used my voice sparingly. He laughed at me. Laughed. Quickly I responded, "Why the hell are you laughing, I said it was serious." He said it was nervous laughter. Good, for a moment you might endure what I have been carrying.

I asked if he was sleeping with anyone other than me. He said, "No, God No." Sigh, loud relief. I said, "Have you slept with anyone while we have been connected sexually." Also a no. I moved into the not using a condom issue. He assured me that there was no reason to have do, as he didn't have "anything." I transitioned into addressing the same questions for him that I had asked.

He said that he never wanted me to feel uncomfortable talking or asking him anything. Saying, "I feel terrible that you were feeling bothered." He apologized for not defining why he stopped wearing a condom. He said, "I am sorry for making you think I was not sexually responsible, due to the decisions that I made with you. I am also sorry for making you start that every uncomfortable conversation. That was my responsibility and I didn't do it." I apologized for making it weird if I did. "No, no, you have every right to know and ask those questions," he was reassuring.

This difficult conversation was tough to even bring up. We both agreed on that. I am impressed with the way that he listened and responded. He handled all of it more advantageously than I thought he could. It was not strange and I felt the honesty within him.