His Rules

The Big X and I continued our relationship up until February. The rules were the same, open relationship. There was always love between us, but no re-commitment. The answer from him was always the same, "I want to be with you but I am not ready to recommit."

His contradiction explained to me that he was a completely selfish bastard with no regard for just or fairness. Still, I continued down his path, his rules. I veered off when I was humiliated by a co-worker telling me she saw The Big X out with another girl.

After a weekend of self-torture, I confronted him, saying, "I continue to feel hurt and disrespect from you to the point I am unsure who you are. You make me feel like I am not good enough to be with you. In my heart, I know that is not true, but you constantly making me feel sub par, it is time for me to let go. It is time for me to stand up for myself. I deserve someone who wants to be with me for me and only with me."

Tears were shed.

I hope he is still crying for what he gave up and what he has lost forever.